Your life is the ground under my feet

2011-07-29T19:16:00.003+08:00

I like to be courted. No scrap that. I WANT to be courted.

I don't know what happened but it seems, courting no longer exist in this era. Seriously guys :/ A girl wants to feel special. She wants to be special to you. She wants to be loved. And please for goodness sake, when I say love her, I DO NOT mean you give her your penis. Seriously.

Whatever happened to getting to know each other? What happened to TALKING? And sweet words does not equate to dirty flirtations. No, your dirty talks are not compliments or sweet words a girl wants to get hear from you.

"I'm sure you're gonna feel so tight." THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SAY TO A WOMEN. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER.

I just want.. to talk

Just talk you know.. It's really sickening. I want someone I can talk to. A normal decent conversation.

2011-06-15T01:23:00.003+08:00

I swear to God recently, I been starting to hate people D:
Like literally hate them.

I mean don't take it personally.
It's not you.
It's me.

Omg did I just use a lame break-up cliche line to explain myself D:
There IS something definitely wrong with me.

I just seriously want everyone to piss off.
Just you know, give me time alone?
Like get the hint. :(

I love you people but ONLY in little doses.
Please don't kill me in my sleep ; _ ;

2011-06-15T01:21:00.001+08:00

My ni-san is gone :(

2011-04-01T02:36:00.001+08:00

First time my mom ever walked in on me crying.. Haha..

This day can't get any much more worse..

Yes mommy. Your lil girl is hurting. But I'm sorry, I can't open up to you.

2011-04-01T02:20:00.002+08:00

Sure I laugh it all off but, it fucking hurts ok! Maybe you forgot but, I have feelings alright. I want to be picked first. I don't wanna be the one that someone falls back on.

You're always first. And that will never change. But please.. it's already hard enough as it is. Please just.. don't rub it in my face. Not with something I care so much about..

2011-04-01T01:57:00.002+08:00

You'll always be the number one choice.
Always.
And it makes me feel like crap..

Just for once. I wanna be the first one to be chosen..

2011-03-26T18:57:00.002+08:00

I need to get out.. Out of singapore.. Out of here..

2011-01-22T19:47:00.002+08:00

I don't hate blondie.

But if I was hanging from a cliff holding on to a rope and you, Mr Blondie was pulling me to safety, I rather cut the rope and die.

2011-01-22T19:39:00.002+08:00

In my mind eye's I see you dancing with me. Hands wrapped around my waist. Body so close that we can feel each other heartbeat. Your eyes locked with mine. Slowly as our lips graze each other's lightly.

Perfect? Breathless? I.. don't know. What was I doing there with you? Dancing like it was the most natural thing to do. So comfortable with your hands wrapped around mine. I used to loathe your touch. Your breath on me, sent chills down my back. The way your eyes watch my every movement. Those of a predator's. Waiting for me to fall and fail.

Go away. Please.

2011-01-22T19:34:00.002+08:00

What if you woke up one day and everything you know, just crumbles.
Like a baker who lost his sense of taste.
A painter who turns color-blind.
Or a singer who lost their voice.
And everything you created from scratch all comes crumbling down.
And the wind blows away these remains. And before you know it, everything's gone.
Like it never existed.
Like it never meant a thing.
And you just stand there.
Lost and helpless.

My head hurts.

2011-01-12T23:52:00.002+08:00

Everyone please shut up..

It's really tiring. It's too fucking frustrating. I can't even hear myself no more. So please shut up. My head hurts..

I donno Rin.. I really don't

What the fuck am I doing..

I'm scared Rin.

I hate this feeling it.. worse than being suicidal.. it's scarier than death.. I don't fucking know what it is.. I don't know what it is please tell me what is it..

I don't wanna disappear.

2011-01-03T12:01:00.002+08:00

This is also called blogging.

Ok. Thanks. Bye.

Laziee can
D:

2010-12-07T23:49:00.005+08:00

And this is BAO SHENG blogshop

GO GO. GO >:I

Cuz I'm a lazy fagot to even write anything more :)

Not a virus or porn side(sorry to disappoint)

Bao Sheng

Press On The Bao Sheng

TYVM

2010-12-07T14:31:00.002+08:00

I think he knows.. >_<

Gahh. But as long as I don't confirm it, it means these feelings don't exist. Meaning it's only 98% confirmation not 100%.

And 2% is a big deal when it comes to feelings. 2% can make or break you women!

But screw guys for now. My blog is my sacred place for me to write about whatever I want. So for now, fug boys >:I

I donno I been feeling a little... addicted nowadays. Addicted to gaming that is.

I am seriously terrified that I be addicted to the computer like I was once. Oh GOD please don't let me revert to that old me again. Crying and hating myself when I couldn't use the computer. Spending every waking time of my life in front of that box. And also sneaking every night just to game. Not to mention rejecting friends offers just so that I can go back home and play my online games.

Fug My Life if I ever get addicted again.

2010-12-04T05:26:00.001+08:00

I really wanted to talk to you..

It's ok I guess. I'm as stupid as ever.

Goodnight..

2010-11-30T01:46:00.000+08:00

I just officially died happy

2010-11-29T16:15:00.003+08:00

Random cam-whore in class with new iPhone App :D

All hail the Koreans for their magnificent creation!!

2010-11-29T13:52:00.003+08:00

I really can't help but feel a little down..
I really can't..

May be I just feel a little jealous. Yes I do envy people whose feelings are returned.
It's really nice to get your feelings returned..
Really..

I just.. I mean.. It was expected.. But I just can't help but ... hope

2010-11-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

Returned feelings would be nice... Heh

2010-11-26T10:19:00.002+08:00

I seriously am wondering if I am getting older? May be a little too old? I don't know because to tell you the truth, I seriously don't get the young ones fashion sense nowadays.

Am I becoming obsolete like our *cough* older generation when it comes to fashion sense? Ok, I admit I'm no fashionista. Nor am I one of those that wake up in the morning and dress to the nines with 50 layers of Satan's powder on their faces. Haha no offense. I'm just me. A simple ordinary girl with spots of pimples on her face in her comfy berms and t-shirt with her toes nicely tucked in her torn hand-me-down sneakers.

Well to cut to the chase, reason why I'm writing this was because yesterday while me and the other Beetches was having Mc D's (Frucken fatteningly awesome!) we saw this young girl maybe around Primary 5 or something. Well she was wearing this nice cute black tube top. Aww so cute. And with her striking pink bra showing. Well I seen these fashion a lot but what she did was just so damn epic, I wish I had taken photos to show you.

Haha you see while she was sitting down and preparing to eat, I guessed she had no pocket to put her phone in so instead, being an innovative girl, she put it under her bra strap. As innovative as it may be, I just can't help but to laugh. I mean seriously?!

Ok maybe I'm just old. Maybe that's why I don't get this new bra strap handphone holder fashion. LOL. Call me old or what but, I'll stick to good ol' pockets.

2010-11-26T10:14:00.001+08:00

I am so sorry.
I fell asleep and didn't update D:

2010-11-26T00:16:00.001+08:00

Ok before I start blogging about my birthday and so on, I just have one thing to say.

My menses is back and it's not even one week since it ended!

Like whut-teh-hell-lahh

I shall die from loss of blood.

2010-11-25T23:07:00.002+08:00

Haha ok basically I wanted to edit the picas into one cute frame. But being the sad noob who fails in life like I am, I ruined it. Obviously. May you rest in peace my failed experiment.

But basically this post is to thank the darling Bitches who have made life as well as my birthday this year a memorable one. Thank you so much darlings!!!

But just so you know who they are, starting with the shameless guy flexing. That's my manhunt friend Koh Jin. Yes he is from Manhunt. Or was. Well you can call him KJ or how I like to call him, GAO JIN. (He will murder me if he sees this)

Above him, is the Bitch of all Bitches. The Lord of Bitchism, and the creator of Bitch Shield. (Freaking effective, will tell soon on another post) Mr Terence Rei Nonis. Yes the person whose hobby is to make my life a living hell. The Scat Lover himself unveiled! Just call him Scatrence

Going up is my darling and one only baby (Rin please don't kill me), Midori. Haha my bestest friend in RP since Year 1. We been through so much together that people thinks and calls us lesbian sometimes ^^ Iwuv you Midori. But whenever if you ever want to annoy her, just call her by H-... Haha I be dead if I typed it here.

Followed by that is a pica of the wonderful darlings and the awesome beauty(me). It's only there because I needed to fill the hole Lol.

And the girl with the red band. My one and only Disney baby and Nick Jonas's wife Farrah-ri. I love you so much!! Haha thank you so much for planning this for a week. I seriously am lost for words for what you've done. Though, I still need the seal of APPROVAL women! Approve it!!!

Haha and the cute chinese looking boy is Farhan. The cute kental 'matrep' tak menjadi! As usual his kentalness is just oh-so adorable to handle. Too bad he isn't in the same class no more D:

And the beautiful lady below him is his wife Sofeeyah. So hands off ok guys :D Yeah cute right?! I mean they so cute together D: And Farrah even gave them the seal of approval BUT she won't give me TwT Sad life. Sad life.

And last but not least Afif :D My East Buddy. Yes we live in the east and schooling in the... erm.. where is RP located at? Is it North? I donno D: I think it's North.. right?

But yeah these are all darling bitches I have that made my birthday the best that I ever had. Thank you so much. Words can't describe how touched I feel.

I'll update more with pics on my birthday in the next post :3

2010-11-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

Ok give me a few more hours and I'll update ok babies
<3<3<3

2010-11-25T01:25:00.003+08:00

I love you so much Zalikha baby.
Haha sorry for getting you worried. But I'm fine really.
Love you so much babeh <3

AND YOU'RE NOT FAT!

Love your walking lard bomb(me) lol

2010-11-25T01:02:00.003+08:00

Dearest Hubby of mine Rin-sama,

I am sorry for not completing the story that you sent me months ago. I got tons of excuses that I could list down for you but, screw that. I'm growing older by the seconds.

I feel freaking old. Yes. I'm no longer the women you married. I'm haggard and I have sagged in places that no longer erects your nether region. I'm no longer that firm young women that prances around wherever she goes.

(Kindly ignore the above paragraph)

So I decided instead of continuing your story. Which may I include, that I feel that I'm not good enough to continue, I decided that I will be writing a new story for you. A love story. Mixed with love making as you wanted.

For now excuse me as I dipped myself in glue and roll around in used tissues.

PS: I'll email you once I'm done with it.

2010-11-25T00:36:00.003+08:00

I... wanna crawl inside my vagina and cry so bad

Wipe my runny nose on my brother's hair.

And lick someone cheeks

:((((((((

2010-11-25T00:24:00.002+08:00

Stupid Cupid you're really mean D:

Make one fall in love with those arrows you shoot. You shot me and him but, he was immune to your arrows of love. So what am I to do now?

Haha no no. Sorry Cupid. I just.. it's easier this way to blame on Cupid.

When things goes wrong it's always easy to blame someone or something else.

For instance if you get caught cheating in a test, tell your teacher it was your friend who put the booger on the teacher desk.

So Cupid. I blame you for me having diarrhea today >:I

2010-11-25T00:06:00.003+08:00

I broke rule 1.
I got punished.

Rule 1. Never expect and everything will work out just fine.

But, my heart is such a stubborn baboon sometimes. I harbored some hope. And yes I was punished.

I fail in life and love.

Haha.Haha.Haha

I feel old
*sighs*

Ok nevermind NUR DAZREEYANTI you've been through worse bull shit so.. HWAITING!!!

2010-11-24T19:45:00.003+08:00

I'm.. falling for him big time

I am so afraid to fall again for someone but, these feelings I like them. I like how they feel. The feelings that makes your heart jump and skip for joy. Or the feeling where you try to compose yourself when you lose your composure at the very sight of them.

I miss those feelings...

But, soon the pain will set in as well. Cuz, nothing last forever

2010-11-23T14:52:00.000+08:00

Hahah I love my beetches so much!!!! Thank you so much for the surprise today >_<
I swear to god this is the happiest day for me this year >_<

I promise I'll update soon!!! <3<3

Thank you!!!

2010-11-22T23:49:00.005+08:00

I just have to freaking post this. Hahahhaa. Well I guess me and my classmates watched 2 girls and 1 cup in class after school. Hahahhaha

For those of you who are ignorant little Patricks living under a rock, go google it. If possible get the video and watch it. Trust me, you won't regret it. You haven't live till you seen 2 girls one cup. Hahahaha

So yeah anyways while we were watching it, Adam was on the verge of puking his lunch out. And Gary commented, "Eh Daz. Why you no reaction one? Haha." And with that, I freaking realized what he said was true. I had no reaction no gut reflex or the urge to puke or remotely flinch at the sight of the video. Nor did I go "Ewww" or "WTF?!" like any other person would.

To be honest I was freaking amused and amazed at the same time by the thing that was coming out and into the cup it self. It look half way to being diarrhea d but at the same time still hard enough for you to nom on. LOL. NOM ON! Never thought I use "nom" in these context.

But yeah, I fear I'm turning into a Scatty Cathy.

If it does happens.
FML.
Forgive me future husband.

LOL!

2010-11-22T23:07:00.003+08:00

It's 11:11 and with this my first wish goes to you.
The first person other than him :3

I wish that you..... ******************************************

If I tell you it won't come true ;D

2010-11-22T21:22:00.002+08:00

I want my ukulele pwetty pweese?
T.T

Seriously, I really wish I got my ukulele. It suck having to wait another year just because of some last minute fucked up school policy. Oh my sweet Aoki. Soon I'll be able to buy you and caress your hard wooden body.

Blah but on another serious note. I seriously need a new style. I dress like a guy a little too much D: I need more cute outfits to prance around class in. Yes I prance. It's a cute way of walking. Right?

And I freaking love my new blog look. So the cute neh!? Just like me. Mwahahhahaha x)

Awesomeness signing off while she waits for the big One-Nine.
Yours Truly,

Scatty Cathy

PS: The name given by Rennie Bitchie A.K.A Terence Rei Nonis!

2010-11-22T21:19:00.002+08:00

I wish for
..........
...........
............
.............
..............
...............
................
.................
..................
...................

You

2010-11-22T14:19:00.004+08:00

I'm turning 19 tomorrow.
Wow.
I am freaking out. I feel so old. I'm not ready for the big One-Nine.

Nineteen and with no direction in life?
Nineteen and yet to contribute to family income?
Nineteen and still single?
(Ok, this is extra haha)

Holy shiet. I am so screwed. Next year I be 20. I be even more messed up than ever before.
God save me.

formspring.me

2010-11-22T14:02:00.003+08:00

Because I am bored ask me the most fucked up questions you got

http://formspring.me/YanteaBuntea

2010-11-22T10:59:00.002+08:00

Hi.
I like you.
Like a lot.

2010-11-20T20:07:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me why was is it hard for me to move on from my latest ex. Lol. Well since when has it ever been easy for us to move on from a failed relationship or from someone whom we once love with all our heart?

Well to be honest, I’ve yet to move on from my recent relationship. As much as it hurts, or as much as I try, I just can’t stop thinking of him or us. Neither can I stop these feelings that I still hold for him. Yes, I still do have some feelings for me. It may not be as intense as it was months back but, nonetheless is enough to bring tears to my eyes and the ache in my heart.

But I’ll tell you why it’s hard for me to move on. Why it’s so hard for me to let go of him. Simply put it, I can’t let him go because I let him past the protection I built for myself. And he saw it and he loved it and.. it made me believe that it was possible. That it was really love. That I was being loved.

I know it don’t make sense. What I mean is. No matter what or who I was with, I always hid behind this wall of lies I created myself out of fear. It starts with a lie to protect yourself, then you new lies are added to cover for you first lie. And the cycle continues and repeats endlessly. Then before you know it, everything you know is a lie. But that lie is what’s keeping you safe. And it’s what letting you keeps that little haven of happiness you created.

Even though it was made of lies, it was more than enough for you to be the truth because it was what made you believe that it was possible. And then you start believing in these lies. You desperately needed to believe in them because you thought if you do it hard enough, maybe it be turned to truth not only for you, but for them as well. Because you and them know it very well that once you let the lies die, everything disappears. Nothing will ever be the same again. Nothing. Because the truth hurts. Hurts so much that you go to these extend just to be happy.

But these lies slowly wear you down. It eats into you and it makes you feel so weary. It makes you wonder whether things be the same if you never lied. You forget the reason why you created these illusions in the first place. It makes you wonder if things could have gone differently if you let them in. Then you crave to be heard. To be loved. Because even with everything that you’ve been through. Lies are still lies. It will ever make you wonder if it be the same if it was the real you.
Then you break down. And you let your guard down hoping they love what was beneath these lies.

Heh. They leave.
Just like that, they leave.

You get tired of all these shams and illusions you created. So you let yourself go. You let your guards down because you no longer care. Hurt me. Hate me. Do whatever you want to. Because I no longer care. These thoughts will run through you.
But deep inside your heart, you hope for someone to come and save you.

And saved was I. Or so I believed.

He came. Loved me past these lies, made me feel like I was worth something. Made me feel so beautiful. And this time, I didn’t need my lies to make me feel that way. And you give him everything because, you know he loved you for you. You open your heart to him. Gave your full trust to him. And then, he left.

He left just like that.

“Do you know how hard it is knowing that you no longer love someone weeks into it?”
Well.

Do you how hard it was for me when you said that?

You saved me.
Then you broke me.

2010-11-18T01:56:00.002+08:00

Why fight a battle that is already lost?

I been ask the same question. Over and over again. By many. And each time I say.

"Faith. That's what keeps you fighting. Even knowing that the battle end have been decided by others, faith is what keeps you going. Because you know no matter what even if the whole world says you've lost, that little glint of hope can sometimes prove everybody wrong."

So now what am I to do. I doubting my own beliefs. My own feelings. My own heart. How do I go on from here to find strength to keep my faith alive?

2010-11-18T01:48:00.003+08:00

What do I have to offer you?

I mean. What do I have that will make you fall for me?
I think it over and, I find nothing.
I'm not remotely attractive. May be to myself yes. But to others, I'm not sure.
I make you laugh and smile. So do many others alike.
So.. what makes me different from others?

Nothing.....

I have nothing to offer you..
Nothing to make you fall head over heels for me..

If you stripped all those jokes and that smile I always put on for you, all you'll see is nothing but a plain girl.
Nothing to leave a mark or print in your heart.

I feel so... empty

2010-11-14T14:28:00.002+08:00

I think.. I'm falling for you

Omg Lol I'm liked by the 'Rae Clan'! OMG!!! Hahahah I don't know why but, I can't help but feel happy and loved XD

I have a confession to make. I like someone. A lot. Oh crap >_< This is so.. I just really don't know what to do. It's so.. scary yet exhilarating.

Ahhh ok screw this. A real post will come out soon. >_
GOD SAVE ME! (From this crush as well as the pervert on my heels)

To my sweet Dolores ♥

2010-10-29T00:54:00.003+08:00

My dearest beloved,

Forgive me for neglecting us. Things has been hectic lately and it's wearing me thin. Literally. Pffts I wished. Aside from that, I know you have been feeling lonely ever since my inconsiderate disappearing act. I just.. really don't know anything anymore.

I really want to go back to the way it was Rin. I really do.. I miss it all. It's really hard to keep up all these facades. I just want to go back to the time when it was just me and you. In the library. That sweet melodious sound of your laughter. Just me and you. No politics. No expectations of each other nor of the world..

I miss you Rin.. I miss us..

2010-10-28T23:35:00.002+08:00

The reason why I first joined it was because of you. As time went by, I forgot my real reason. I made new friends, created new memories both with you and the new people I got acquainted with.

Then lately I see your passion slowly seeps away. Maybe it's just fatigue that got to you but, it made me worry. Really it did. I even got a little upset though I never told you about it. I felt that what was once your passion is now mine. That I stole your little piece of haven.

I got carried away. I forgot my real reason. You were my real reason. Yes things may have change. The same way that you did. But just know. I joined for you so, I'll stay for you ♥

I had a dream that as I lay in bed with you, I finally come to peace with myself.

2010-10-24T12:31:00.002+08:00

My predictions are never wrong.

Starting from today, I'm cutting you off. Yeah I did have feelings but, I know yours changed. Whether you realized it or not, don't really matter no more. In the end it's all the same.

I saw it coming. And now since it's starting, I'll be selfish and hurt you. So that I won't get hurt myself. Mean and selfish as it seems, you and I know that I can't risk getting hurt again.

So please.. Don't bother lying to me or trying to keep up this facade. I seen through it all..

2010-10-18T11:34:00.003+08:00

HAIII IT'S ME FARRAH HERE!!!! :) DAZREE'S TOO LAZY TO UPDATE!!!!

2010-10-18T11:33:00.001+08:00

I hate 23. I really do. I loathe every 23 of the month.

2010-10-18T10:50:00.003+08:00

Ok starting today, I shall officially revive my beloved blog again.

I'll try my best not to procrastinate and go back on my words again =.=

And if I do procrastinate and once again go back on my words, you are free to punish me with any methods you deem appropriate.

Yes if I'm a dick then you're a vagina.

2010-09-19T22:20:00.001+08:00

Oh.. And I was in a cubicle with a friend and had to go really bad.. So she told me to go ahead in front of her since she don't mind.

And since I'm close with her, I did.. And she called my 'flower' cute.

Hahahahahahaha. Epic.Moment.Evar

2010-09-19T22:03:00.002+08:00

So once again, there I was slumped over my toilet bowl puking my insides out. I swore time and time again, NEVER to do that. Yet, here I am doing the deed I swore never to go back to again.

I seriously need to get a whole of myself. Really. This is taking a toll on me. Emotionally and physically. I swear, I turned into such a freak. And that's me saying it. Do you know how bad of a situation it is when I myself realized that I'm turning into this horrible self-centered unstable freak!?

Yes after the break-up with that one blonde boy, I turned into a self-centered bitch. I realized it but, I can't stop it. And THAT'S what sucks. I wanna be the old Dazree again. The one who smiled so easily. Who wasn't so full of herself nor thinks of that the world revolves around her. I want to be that same girl that brings smiles to people face and be content with that. Not the one who makes things awkward or hurl rude insensitive remarks to others just so, I could feel better about my self.

What have I become..

2010-09-18T14:58:00.000+08:00

Teehee my hubby Rin makes me happy x)

2010-09-15T23:09:00.001+08:00

I'ma work my ass off. Give all my money to my parents. Let them decide what to do with it. Anyone know any jobs available? If possible, I want one that would tire me out till I don't give a fuck about my surroundings.

2010-09-15T22:31:00.003+08:00

I feel so... lonely right now. Haha I hate to admit it but, I can't help to feel lonely when I see my friends with their loved ones.. Doesn't have to be a sweet or romantic gesture. Just the usual teasing, being able to be yourself and still be loved is just.. refreshing.. I always wanted that.. Someone to be here and laugh at me and with me.. Someone to hold my hand and hug me when they know I'm at my weakest point..

I just want a best-friend lover..

Someone who I can actually.. hold...

Is that selfish of me..? For my birthday wish to come this year, I wish for..

Heh..

2010-09-09T14:04:00.002+08:00

Lucky me T.T I was almost barred from taking my exams T.T
I seriously need to stop this late habit of mine D: I mean, last time I was a time freak. If someone said "Let's meet at 11 at Bedok phonebooth." I swear to God, I reach there EXACTLY at 11. Nothing more, nothing less.

That's how much of a time freak I was. Then I stopped caring cuz everyone was always late. Lol.

Ah. Aku kena bahasekan oleh matairnya.

Sedih tetap sedih sebab laki idamanku yang selama ini aku tergila-gilakan rupanya, takde bola. Ape nak buat. Asalkan korang bahagia lah. Sorry but aku tengah bingit. Setan punye orang. Eeeee! Kalau aku jumpe, cekik-cekik sampai mampos!

Ok I feel weird writing in Malay =.=

I seriously can't wait for Hari Raya. Not cuz of the money. Partly the reason is, I have the urge to dig for gold in my nose right now but I can't. You know why? Because that would mean I be breaking my fast. And I DON'T WANT to pay an extra day D: It's alright I'll bear with a booger filled nose till it's time to break my fast.

And I still seriously don't get it why farts gotta smell so goddamn bad.

2010-09-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

And the only reason why I hate rainy days is, it makes my hair curls like those little millipedes when you accidentally flick them T.T

I got caught in the rain and was soooo wet when I got home. Ooolala. Lol. Ok little perverts it's not what you're thinking D:<
Get that image out of your mind!!! xD
But smexy image ain't it :3 Rawr!

2010-09-06T21:59:00.004+08:00

Seriously. Terence and Koh Jin are the biggest MB(Man-Bitches) I ever met. Lol. Not that I'm complaining. I hope your Baking Life food burns Terence. And your muscles turns to flabs Koh Jin :D

And I love my Disney Channel Baby Farrah!!
Miss bitching with my cute little bitches :D
Seems like I trained them well :3

2010-09-06T02:08:00.001+08:00

I miss.. my Wings

2010-09-06T02:05:00.003+08:00

That's why I freaking hate boys.. Fuck if not for you at least think of her.. Think of how she would feel if you just left.. Fucking think of her.. Don't fucking chase someone and make them love you only to abandon them.. Stop fucking doing that..

It's your past. If she can accept it why not you?!

Stop running away. Stop hiding behind excuses. The 'I love you's are not enough to cover for this bullshit. So stop fucking run away.

2010-09-05T11:53:00.002+08:00

I don't know why.. it's so hard for me to move on..

I wanna be happy.. It's really not fair.. He'd found someone. He's happy with her. And I'm still stuck in between..

I wanna let it go.. All these feelings I hold for him..
Cuz it's too painful..

2010-09-05T04:52:00.002+08:00

Nyuuu ish raining.. *cuddles in my blankie*
I have no idea why but rain, seems to make me weak. And very, very, very, clingy. It makes me wanna cuddle under someone's warm armpit. Wait whut?! Lol just joking.

But it be nice to snuggle and cuddle during rainy days. I'm so deprived of the opposite sex touch. On the brighter side, less chances of fornicating and skinship :D

Till I have Aoki in my arms to cuddle during such nights. Or maybe a real man not a blow up doll. (Not that I had one before >_>) I'll just cuddle with my retarded piggy Domokun. Well I'm not sure if Domo ish a pig or not but, that's what Midori says. ._.

She made me touch Domo, a piggy bank and piglet from Pooh, so now I'm no longer halal lol.

Oh Aoki I await for the day that you and I shall finally be one

2010-09-04T22:46:00.002+08:00

God my infected ear stinks @.@

I just found out a classmate broke up with her boyfriend recently ._. And as much as I want to console her, I can't because I'm not that close with her. What sucks even worse is that, she's here alone. I mean, she came to Singapore to study and well, I guess in moments like these it gets too hard. It really is.

Imagine the comfort or haven that you once held so dearly to disappeared. You break down. You feel lost and weak. It takes so much just to crawl out of that tiny hole and stand up on your feet once again but, my friend doesn't have that time to do so. She got to be strong because, a lot is expected of her. Here, and back home.

Being in a foreign place alone takes more than courage. It takes willpower. And I applaud her but, we tend to forget that even though they may appear strong outwardly, it's eating her inside. I really wish I could do something.. You may think that I'm over my head here thinking I understand how you feel. I'm not saying I understand how you feel. No one can truly comprehend nor feel one another feels. But all I know is that, you're having it rough.

I'll just pray it doesn't breaks you..

2010-09-02T23:17:00.003+08:00

When the pain starts to get unbearable, I know that you'll always be there for me. My darling soon to be, Ukulele. Once I have you in my arms, I'll love you like I love no man before.

2010-09-02T22:54:00.002+08:00

I need to get my ukulele fast. I need something to fill this void before it overwhelms me. I'll make music my life so please, save me from mine.

2010-09-02T22:48:00.003+08:00

Mmmm..

It's fading..

Haha it's so hard to trust as I get older. It's really confusing.. Everything gets really confusing..

Trust. Faith. Hope.

Lol. Maybe it's time I grew up. How sad that I believed in them. Reality bites. Really hard sometimes.

2010-09-02T13:33:00.002+08:00

Hahahahahha stupid fortune cookie just blast reality IN MY FACE

Me: Oh behold the Great Wise Cookie. What fortune awaits thy follower today?

*cracks cookie*

Cookie: He isn't going to call you.

Deduction: Get over it you sour blanket. He moved on so should you.

Even a cookie can see the obvious. FML. x)

2010-09-02T12:44:00.003+08:00

Right now I'm admiring as a white boy sleeps on the other side of the cam. No. This is not one of my voyeuristic conquest. Neither is it the same white boy I've been talking about and swooning over these past few months.

It's the same old crush that I cruelly dissed when I got pissed a few weeks back. I'm sorry Alvin for saying such harsh words. But what that caught me off surprise is that, he wasn't mad nor angry. Maybe a little upset but, that was expected seeing how... horrible I was writing such stuff.

But weirdly here we are again. We came far didn't we Alvin :3 Haha my first online friend.

Blah I'm sorry but you look so adorable sleeping right now. All cuddled up in your paw printed blanket. Like HBIC (Head Bitch In Charge) said, "Guys and animals are a crime". Totally agreed. You look so adorable in your deep slumber. I can see you breathing and the movement of your body. Ok I'm gonna stop being a stalker ._.

-----------------------------------------------------------

On a side note, I hope you're doing well Mr Alley Man. You know who you are :3 I can no longer go to the alley. What was once home became someplace dangerous for me now. But I hope you're doing well. I wished I could do more to help you but, I'm powerless against you. I can't even help myself, so I'm in no position to help you.

I hope those attacks goes away. I know how it feels. How scary it is. I hated when I had attacks over you. So, I'll pray for your safety and well-being. I hope you get better. And we both can move on with our lives. Well, moving on is mostly targeted at me lol.

2010-09-02T02:12:00.002+08:00

Will you love someone as broken as me?

What am I so afraid of? I used to be a daredevil. Nothing could stop me. So why? Why am I so terrified to learn to trust again? Why am I afraid to open my heart again?

2010-08-27T06:41:00.005+08:00

Welcome to the PQ(Pedo-Queen) guide to being a camwhore :D

Even though you may or may not have signed up for this course, I still expect you to pay the $45 course fee. And if you somewhat already made the payment, please pay again because I lost the money in a bet so you have to pay again for me to cover the loss :D

Well since we got the formalities sorted out, welcome to my guide to being a CAMWHORE :D

Ok before we start, what is your definition of a camwhore?
..........
Anyone?
..........
Oh well I didn't expect anyone of you poopscicle to know so it's alright. Give yourself a pat on the back nonetheless :D
Basically a camwhore is not a camera which is a whore. No. That's just plain stupid and wrong. A camwhore is infact someone who is a whore which is a camera. :D Understand? Don't get it mixed up ok :D

What..? It don't make sense to you? Well you can that DSLR of yours and shove it up your *@$#&@!*@&

Ok moving on :D (Seems like I lost one student. Note to self, remember to collect course fees from him :D)

Well what you will learn in this course is how to be a proper camwhore. :D
.............
................
...................

To learn that please pay additional $56 for the separate course. Thank you.
So I guess that's the end of our lesson :D

I'm sure you all learnt something beneficial today. And remember my little poops, "If you have to go potty, it is best to hold it in till you can no more. That way it will come out like a bazooka"

Toodles :D

In the meantime here are some professional camwhore moments :D

What is a camwhore without her peace sign and act cute face :D
But in my case, I'm already naturally cute ;D

2010-08-27T06:24:00.002+08:00

Even though these lips no longer utters your name, it still echoes in my head.

The road to recovery has not been easy. So much. There were so much times I wanted to take back my words. Take back what I said, and come running to you again. So many times I wanted to hear your voice again.

But I used fear as my motivation. The fear that you instilled in me when you broke me. Yeah. I used that as my driving force. I don't want to feel that fear again, that's why I won't run back to you. That fear that slowly consumes me. That overwhelms me completely. That breaks me down. The same fear that will help me push you away from me.

Ah so chim ah Daz. Haha. Early in the morning already think of him again ah? Don't be pathetic lah hahaha. Just think of YOG men. Oh wait don't. They going back already. So that probably make you depress right? Haha ok think of cute panties. Soft frilly ones with cute little bows....

*JIZZGASM* Ok there nothing I love more than cute adorable lingerie. I very much prefer frills to see-thru panty. You see, whenever I wear these cute apparels I feel confident. It's like I'm strutting my stuff kind of confidence hahaahaha. But when I find out there's no my size, I get depressed LOL.

So right now I'm sitting her typing random thoughts in my whore-fit. Which consists of boxers so short you can practically call it panties. And tight body hugging shirt. Ooolala you thought? HAHAHA! Sure if by ooolala you mean 'babats' popping out everywhere. Haha it's so hardcore I assure you my flabs can poke your eye out xD

Tommorrow I swear on my chocolate cake in my anus, that I WILL WRITE OF YOG MEN! So till then be contented with an adorable picture of... a leprechaun

Yes that is a leprechaun D: Don't be in denial!!

2010-08-27T06:10:00.002+08:00

So basically recently an old crush came back. And we started talking. And he began saying how he still has feelings for me. Fucking liar I must say LOL. Sorry but after my latest ex, I find it hard to believe in love.

Well thing is we been talking for a few weeks and things began to escalate. Well to him, not me. He said he still loved me. Always had and always will. Seriously? It's ok that you want me to feel good about myself after the latest bullshit that made me feel inadequate but, stop lying. That just irks me more.

So I guess my nonchalant attitude pissed him off. And he said something, which really hurt me. This is what he said..

Bastard A: Do you remember how things were back then? Before I left? (Yeah he left me last time and still has the cheek to say he always loved me always had and always will)

Me: Huh? What you mean c:

Bastard A: Back when we had a lot of fun. And you dress up all dunny and silly. And acted like a nut xD

Me: Lol. Yeah Why?

Bastard A: I miss that Daz. This Daz isn't the same Daz that I loved back then who made me laughed so hard.

And this really pissed me off. So you only loved me when I'm all happy? You can't love me when I'm down and at my lowest. Does it repulses you?! I'm freaking human. I have fucking feelings. I can't be all dunny and happy for you all the time. I can't pretend to smile when it's killing me inside. Even I, need a break sometimes. Why is it everytime, they fall in love with that loony Daz? Why can't they love me as a person. Why can't you embrace my insecurities and my weaknesses. I hate it.

I'm sorry but, I can't be the same Daz anymore. I can't be that same girl you fell in love with anymore. I'm too messed up..

2010-08-27T05:25:00.006+08:00

At the end of each day, I drag my weary body up the steps of my apartment. The heavy footsteps echoes through the deserted littered hallway. Slowly making my way inside the comfort of my home. Pffts. Comfort of my home. Nice one.

Stepping into what used to be my haven, I realized nothing much is different inside as much as it was outside of my house. The lingering smell of tobacco stained on my walls. Leftovers Chinese food left on the table. And shelves pulled out with the belongings scattered everywhere, evidence of that asshole rummaging through my stuff. Must be in debt again. What a fucking pig I thought. I can't help but laugh. Ah Daz. Life couldn't get any better.

I picked up my clothes and tidied the mess that fucktard made. Slumped myself on the worn out sofa as i kick off my 6 inch stilettos, that was killing my feet. Ha. Fariz would have been fucking proud of me if he saw me walking in these. It's weird how lately, memories of my past slowly starts to play in my head. It makes me somewhat, nostalgic.

Time pass by slowly as I reminisce of what I was once. A smile slowly crept on my lips as I remembered the innocent times. As fast as it came, it disappeared. The banging and bickering of my neighbors woke me from my daze. And back to reality I was once again.

The smell of sweat plastered on my body made me get off the sofa, and into my bathroom. Once there, I made sure that the mirror was covered. Turning on the tap on my sink, I splash the cold water on my face. I hate mirrors. Awful things they were. Cold water dripping down my neck, slowly making my top wet. I took off my clothing and threw them in the basket, not caring that they fell on the floor instead. Into the shower I went as I stood there, naked and raw.

My hand turned the shower tap slowly as cold water slowly immersed me. Shivering under the freezing water, I can't help but remember the time when I didn't need this to shiver as much. The thought of one person can make me go into a shivering fit. And what's weird, I still shiver from the thought of him. I couldn't stop shivering throughout my whole shower. Be it from the cold water, or the thought of him.

I turned off the shower and cuddled at the corner of the floor. Hugging my legs tightly, I sobbed hard. I don't know how long I was there but, my body was dry and all I could hear was the dripping of the water. I made my way out, stumbling from the numbness of my legs.

I put on my nightgown and slowly slide into bed. The warm soft covers were welcoming. I wrapped myself around it, somewhat feeling safe. Slowly I drift off to sleep. Leaving this wretched reality behind. The sound of the bustling city life blocked out by the laughter and joyful squeals in my dreams. Everything was opposite of what reality was. Everything was.. perfect.

And each time I have this dream, I would get greedy. My arms stretched out for someone to hold me. And each time it happens, I get shot back into reality. Woken from that deep slumber with my arms held out, for someone to hold me. But, no one is ever there. So why do I keep trying each night?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah god I feel so weird right now. This is what I dreamt about. My life. This is what I mean when I wrote this in my Facebook :

Yantea Buntea: At the end of each day, I take off my whore make-up and slide into bed. Under the covers, I dream of dreams that any innocent girl wishes for. A happily ever after.

It feels all too surreal.

2010-08-26T23:57:00.007+08:00

Since I'm a lazy ass pissed off faget to update, I'm just gonna upload the pictures Rin wanna see. Enjoy c:

This is me during prom.

This is me yesterday :D

HAHAHA OK FINE MAKE UP DOES DO WONDERS LOL

2010-08-23T12:40:00.002+08:00

As much as I want to write about attractive young men in YOG today, I just seem to get you off my mind ever since I woke up. God, please give me strength. I know I'm not a good follower nor am I a good person to boot but, please.. I really don't want to go through the pain again..

It's weird.. It's really is.. During the Acachamps, when Soul 9 sang "Halo", all I thought was of you. I couldn't stop thinking of you, and it made my heart ache. Gosh! I don't wanna write about you! Gahhh! Stop invading my life you stupid distant memory of the time when I was.. in love.. Not that I'm still not in love with you.. But who cares right? Cuz you don't.. Ok now I sound so bitter..

I need a break and write happy stuff. I'm sorry Rin and my blog stalkers :( I'll write happy posts again, right after 3 hours nap. Cuz I can, and I'm a pig xD A cute one x)

2010-08-16T10:08:00.003+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so messed up. I seriously am afraid of what's happening to me right now.

Every time. Every single time I dream of you. Every single time I think of you and how we were together, I get panic attacks. I never had panic attacks in my whole life. So why now? Why now whenever I think of you?

Do you know how extremely terrifying it is to feel this way? Do you know how weak and useless I feel right now? Every time I think of you my body reacts so much. I can't stop trembling. I can't stop the shivering and my body gets so cold. Even when it's humid. I get so cold I have to lie down and wrap myself to calm myself down.

I get this awful feeling in my gut and an unexplainable fear. I get so overwhelmed by these emotions that I can't think straight. I can't just ignore them or push them away like I always do. And I don't know why! I could literally die from this..

Today I prayed to God. I prayed for Him to give me strength. Give me strength to overcome this. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to get panic attack at the thought of you. I'm seriously terrified.. I don't know what's wrong with me no more.

I wanna get well soon..

2010-08-12T13:45:00.002+08:00

Seriously why do I even bother? It's only hurting myself but no matter what, no matter how hard I try.. I can't freaking move on..

I just wish you said it to my face. I wish you said you didn't love me. That you never love me. That I was only for you to chase your time away. Fuck that would have been better! That would have made it so much easier for me to let go.

You fucking said.. You said you won't date for awhile. You said you won't remove me from your SS. Fuck of all the promises you broke, I still believed in your words and the worst part was you just had to break these two.

I fucking hate how I feel for you. I fucking hate that you're all I think about. While you're happy with your girlfriend, I'm here being a fucking idiot waiting for you. I'm trying really hard. Really. I want to move on so badly but I can't. You ended it so abruptly.. What was I to do. I was so much in love with you. I trusted you so much. I tried my best to make us work

And what drives me crazy, is the thought of you saying "I love you" to her..

Please.. Hurt me or just break me apart.. Anything that will let me move on.. Because it hurts so much right now.. Please let me move on Bryan.. Because your love messed me up real good..

2010-08-11T05:11:00.000+08:00

And for the first day of Puasa, you made me cry.

2010-08-09T13:29:00.002+08:00

Incoming...

Another NB-Post :D

Ok so recently we been cleaning our house a lot. Like throw tonnes of stuff away. I feel sad by this by the way, cuz me and Dad could never throw stuff away. Too much meaning to us. Well then, it was my room turn to be cleaned. And well, let's just say I do NOT have the average normal teenage girl room.

Like everyone knows DAZREE(Please do not call me Yantea. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), is a bookworm. Though that habit is slowly dying, it does not mean you can touch my 'precious'. Yes my books, are my life. Do you know how much I went through to get them?

I had no friends back then and books were my buddies, friends, confidantes and even lovers. Yes I made love to books. And don't ask how, if you wish to keep your innocence. So don't even think for a second that I would trade my books for anything.

Truthfully, all the books I own are not bought by me. They were 'given' to me by people or libraries. 'Given' meaning, they were forced to throw it away or I forgot to return them and by the time I graduated, the library bitches can't do anything about it.

I still got the 'Fruit Basket' manga from dearest Rin. Which I patiently awaits the day that I can finally return it back to her. And it's in tip top condition mind you. Which is a miracle coming from a 'Item-Destroyer' like me. If my virginity were an item, I probably broke it long ago. >_>" That's how terrible I am at keeping and maintaining things.

I practically read everything in my house at least 4 times. But my favorite is still crime book about erm... you-know-what.

So a caution to everyone:

Don't FUCKING touch my books. And I would love free books :D That would be most lovely.

Woots to the Yeah. In your face for the N-B Post! Sorry for the lame post, I lost my Mojo. I thought it was in my pants, but I couldn't find it :( Do return if found. You can tell it's mine because it has 'love marks' all over it :D Yes, I whip my mojo with my 'Chain of Love'

2010-08-07T01:08:00.002+08:00

Eff you whoever casted Dev Patel to portray my darling misunderstood prince, Zuko from Avatar the Last Air bender. Seriously Eff You.

Not being a racist here, (everyone is a freaking racist so, screw you) but how the hell does Dev Patel even merely resembles my fair-skinned strong headed stubborn Prince Zuko?!

The first time I saw the freaking trailer, I swore my first reaction was "WHY THE HELL THEY MADE ZUKO UGLY!?!" I'm sorry if I offended any Dev Patel fans or stalkers but, I admit he was awesome in Slumdog Millionaire but, SERIOUSLY. Dev Patel as Zuko!? The director is asking to be tied up and beaten to death with bananas by horrified Zuko fangirls like me!

The creators seems to forget. The reason why Avatar or any other movie or shows is so popular is (according to me that is) because of the misunderstood eye candies they offer to us, hormones raging teenage girls. Because no one can fan girl as hard as girls. Tell me have you freaking heard of fan-boying? NO. I don't think so. But there is such a thing as fan-girling. Because girls, are scary beings. Really scary horrible beings with the exterior of an innocent lollipop.

Seriously. Avatar better as eff be good to make up for the shitty cast. If not, I'ma fly to Hollywood and smack the banana on the bloody director head till he gives my bloody 6 bucks back.

Cheapo for life. Piss Out. Zuko obsessed fan-girl signing off.

Count of N-B posts: 4 :)

Ganbatte Daz :)

2010-08-07T00:56:00.002+08:00

So basically we had to write a 300 word review on the movie 'Leatherheads'. And here it is, my first movie review :D This is for you Rin. Enjoy :D

Author: Nur Dazreeyanti Anak Of Azlan

The movie Leatherheads directed by ladies man George Clooney, was a little-above the average film due to many aspects. Usually sports genre movies are not my cup of tea but, Leatherheads turned out better than I expected. Like any other sports movies, Leatherheads mostly follow the genre of love, sports, and life.

What hooked me the most in this movie was its wit and sarcastic humour that adds flavour to this predictable-sports storyline movie. The plot in this movie was average as compared to the rest. Mostly were mainstream though, kudos for not using a cliché ending where the main characters gets all the fame and riches like in any other Disney movies we see. So a round of applause for that. Although the plot could use a little bit more of work to make it more... Let’s say a little less predictable?

Moving on to the characters in the movie, I have to admit that the acting by everyone was commendable though I have to point out that the one that caught me the most was Lexie Littleton. Portrayed brilliantly by Renee Zellweger (star of Bridget Jones Diary), Lexie a newspaperwomen with a zesty personality who, works her way through in a man-dominated world. Her fast comebacks and witty response makes her one of the outstanding characters in the story. Unlike the other actors, I feel that this character shows us of Renee professionalism and ability as an actress.

The romantic spark in the story was nothing that I would compare to 'passionate'. In fact, I couldn't the feel the love between the characters itself. Although they were great as individual actors, I felt that they were not as convincing as lovers.

Overall, this is a fun light movie to catch if you’re a fan of quick witty comeback humors.

Word Count: 301 words

Ratings: 3.5/5 stars

2010-08-07T00:43:00.002+08:00

Oh yush!! Before I pass out and strip myself naked in my deep slumber, I have one thing to say.

FREAKING SALT WAS AWESOMEEEEEE!!! Freaking watch it! The best action movie to me, since Die Hard. I never liked that man-stealing bitch Jolie but, I've got to admit that I effing LOVE THIS MOVIE!

And to top it off, I watched it with the best SSCM (Super Size Cannot Maintain) loves!! Gina, Fu Qi and Baby Adibah, thanks for the lovely outing. I know we been planning it for ages but, never got around to it. I'm glad we did >_< Cuz I miss you freaking awesome Poopsicles!

I'll upload a pic here and there soon :) Once my SSCM buddy GINA MAH MAMA tags me on FB :D

Woooots boobslap for everyone for another N-B post!

I just got an idea!

Post count of N-B post: 2

A post count on my slow recovery from a miserable heartbreak! LOL! It's always fun to make fun of one's broken organ xD

Oh Wow An N-B Post

2010-08-07T00:34:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not updating my lovely Unicorns D:

Well just a heads up, this would be a N-B Post (N-B = Non-Bryan Post).

There's seriously something wrong with my body :( I'm really burning up these few days. And this causes me to have restless nights D: No, I'm not in heat. I checked it :( And the slight touch of tap water makes my skin jump and the uncontrollable shivering would ensue :(

Am I sick? But I feel, fine. Well not my best, but definitely not ill. Not yet that is. Gosh it be nice to actually cuddle up on my bed and roll around in my underwear. Which I am doing now but, it doesn't feel as satisfying as I thought D:

Maybe eating durians wasn't a good idea after all. It always, gets me in heat. I mean er.. gets me hot. No, that's not right. I mean it makes me feel uber warm and burn up D: Never knew durians are such sinful fruit. Screw Viagra D: Durian is the natural horny goat weed for lovers :D

And Dazree baby, what's up with all the smileys lately? xD

2010-08-06T23:10:00.002+08:00

It's sickening when it has been more than a month and I still have yet to move on. God Bryan, I still can't get you out of my head nor mind. And that's what drives me crazy. Yet, I don't want you out of there. If I could, I wish you stay in there forever.

I know you got a girlfriend but, I can't help feeling fucking pissed and irritated whenever I see her leaving a comment on your FB Wall. Or your SS with her name on it. What annoys me the most is that not long ago, it wasn't her name that was spamming your FB Wall nor her name that was plastered all over your SS but in fact, it was mine.

Everywhere you turn you see 'Yantea Buntea' leaving you a comment. Or leaving you emails and messages. Now, I lost the right to do so. I've been replaced. And I can't help but feel envy and jealousy.

But what can I do? I'm only a friend to you, though you're always more to me. I'm not on your mind nor in your heart but, that don't stop you from being in mine. And it hurts. Really bad. Because all I ever wanted was for you, to love me back. To have no one in your heart other than me. To utter those 3 words only to me. To give your everything, so that you can see the one you love smile..

And that's what I'll do. I be there when you're alone. I'll comfort you when the nightmares comes again. I'll hold your hand and guide you when you're lost. And most importantly, I'll smile for you when you smile happily... beside her

Because love, nothing is more important to me than your happiness. If you call me a fool in love, you're mistaken. I'm what one calls, a retard suicide lover.

(Thumbs up for new word invention!)

2010-07-29T10:39:00.008+08:00

Here's the long awaited comic :D

Enjoy!

2010-07-28T13:06:00.002+08:00

Darling! I miss you so much darling! *Slobber kisses all over my darling blog*

I hate the fact that I get in heat whenever I'm on my period >:I Bloody ass pain in my VJJ =.=

Ok I will write something today. I WILL! No MORE procrastinating =.=

Because I'm too cute to procrastinate :3

Don't believe? See for yourself :D

Ok maybe not cute but more of steamy. Lol But STILL cute :D

2010-07-23T00:03:00.003+08:00

Ah I got to write about someone but I'm so worn out I won't be able to write today.

Ooooooo! And look out soon for a comic that I be posting here! Effing awesome work. Trust me ;3

Ok pardon me for today. Especially Rin, because I am too effing worn out I need sleep. Promise I'll post ASAP so you can read D:

2010-07-22T23:51:00.004+08:00

Today is the first time that I reached home so late. I was so tired that I almost missed my stop because, I was dozing off >_<" Lucky me.

Well when I reached home, I was expecting my family to be in the living room, watching television or gaming. Heh. How surprised I was, to find that the living room was empty and quiet. Kinda reminds me of when my grandfather passed away..

It seems my family fell asleep. Everyone was in bed, deep in slumber. The sight warms my heart, seeing my family safe and resting together. How I miss the moments where we would sleep together on the cold floor. But I have to admit, in my heart a tinge of sadness sets in.

No one waited for me.. Heh. But it's alright. Everyone been busy. Everyone is tired. So am I. But I do miss my mom constant worrying and questioning. My dad lame but funny jokes. And the whines and bicker of my brothers over the games.

This house is quiet now.. And the only sounds I hear now is the pit-pat on my keyboard as I type this. Cute sound though >_
But what really touched me is that, even though they were asleep or too busy to cook, they left me food. My family left me nuggets on the table. Though it isn't grand nor much to some, it means the world to me..

That little thought, really made my day..

I love my cute family so much!!! >_

2010-07-21T12:38:00.002+08:00

Yes. Yes. I have an online secret. Heh.

I'm a liar. A good one at that. This is the case when a small lie gets bigger and bigger till it consumes you. And now, you can't sweep this lil bitch under the carpet because all the lies accumulated is too big. I be waiting for the day that I get caught and this lie ends :)

2010-07-21T12:04:00.000+08:00

It's me. So shut the fruit up and accept it ^.^

2010-07-20T01:07:00.002+08:00

You're the reason.
You're to blame.
Die with shame.
Carry this burden.
Because, you're the reason that I'm broken.

2010-07-20T00:54:00.002+08:00

You broke me.
You didn't even bothered to fix it.

I'll make a wall.
Just like always.

Never should have let anyone in.
Never should have let my guard down.

Because love.
Is a game for the strong.
A torture for the weak.

Just remember.
You're to blame for my change.

You're the reason.
That I'll stop believing.

2010-07-20T00:49:00.002+08:00

I don't want to love you.
I don't want to love anymore.
It hurts too much.

You're always on my mind.
Always.
You're everything that I think about.
Everything that I care for.
Everything that I wish for.
But what am I to you?

Am I a fucking toy?!
Am I just to pass time!?

Please stop toying with my feelings..

Don't give me hope or love only to hurt me again..
Don't make me smile or laugh only to leave me to cry alone again..
Don't fucking hold me when you know you'll let go again..

Really what am I to you..

Because you.. are everything to me..

2010-07-20T00:46:00.003+08:00

Because I fucking love you is the reason I believed in your lies.

Because I fucking love you is the reason I trusted your words.

Because I fucking love you is the reason I put up with the bullshit.

Isn't that fucking enough!

Why is that never enough!

Why is it never enough...

Why..

I love you.. I fucking love you that it drives me crazy..

But it's not enough..

It's never is enough for you..

2010-07-20T00:03:00.002+08:00

I am so freaking tired. Friday is freaking JYOG thingy followed by Daddy birthday, which I have yet to decide on a gift on and then my darling Rin birthday the day after. I give up. I need some decent sleep.

Ok. Seriously. I WILL FREAKING UPDATE TMRW. I have so much to rant, but so little time. I hate being too tired or busy -.-

FML. Piss Out bitches ;3

2010-07-18T18:48:00.002+08:00

Dearest Mr Opposite Sex,

I know that you have an uncontrollable obsession with any shape that is round or anything that closely resembles that. But please, when speaking or greeting a girl/lady/women do make an effort to keep your eye level straight. NOT 45 degrees lower than the original point given.

I'm sure that is not much to ask for :)

And if it is, at the very least have some decency to actually TRY to cover your act. Seriously. One of these days, I swear I'll poke your eyes out with them. Using the pointy bra, courtesy of Madonna wardrobe ^.^

2010-07-13T00:01:00.000+08:00

Too tired.. Worn out..
Promise I'll whore-blog tomorrow :(

2010-07-11T23:06:00.001+08:00

Blah :D Eff that. I'm healed ;3

2010-07-11T22:28:00.002+08:00

I want to bury this weak heart. Let no men touch it no more.

2010-07-11T22:12:00.001+08:00

You want to know what I'm feeling and thinking?

What I want to say so much.. What I want to shout out and tell you is that..

Love me. Love me not her.. Please love me. Why not me.. Why..

2010-07-11T18:19:00.003+08:00

I would get this for you Rin, once I start working and save up. May take long but anything for my special Rin <3 So don't say you don't deserve it :D

2010-07-10T10:27:00.002+08:00

I will continue the rest tomorrow :)

Tired as popscicle for some reason D: